The Decision to Be Still


I have decided to stay put for now. This decision goes against my every natural restless tendency to keep searching. My TCK background fuels my antsy desire to keep going. Explore everything in sight, collect all the wisdoms and stories a place has to offer, then move on to the next unknown territory. This is my impulse.

Life is about collecting experiences, stories, wisdom. We third culture kids know that change is a good thing. That there is always another place to explore, more people to meet, more stories to live. 

But for now, I will wait. My impulses are not always wise. (Perhaps my past experiences have taught me this?) Some life lessons take time. Some experiences take time to recover from. Sometimes I just need a moment (one moment = about one year in my world) of peace. Sometimes I need to just live the story I’m already living. 

This decision takes me back to my year as an intern in the Center for Vocational Reflection office at my university. That’s one hell of an office name, isn’t it? And with it came one hell of a community. The leaders I worked for inspired me at a time of uncertain and excitable chaos. These people as well as my fellow interns brought a sense of calm to my then hyper and easily distracted personality. (I’ve since lost the hyper factor, but the distractions are still unavoidable!)

Our campaign that year was STOP. The rest was left for passersby to finish the sentence to their liking. I think I loved this campaign more than anyone. I often need a reminder to just chill and BE. When I look back on my university daily schedule, I’m not sure how I found time to breathe, let alone excel in my classes. My extra-curricular schedule alone was nearly too stifling and even a trip to study in the library of our tiny and close-knit campus would inevitably turn into a social hour “study break” for ice cream in the cafeteria.

I loved every minute of this jam-packed era, but I owe much of my sanity to those who occasionally, gently, lovingly, reminded me to BE STILL. 

Once again, life, I HEAR YOU! (Geez…)

And I know I will be glad. History shows that when I have made a decision to wait, life has enveloped me with inspiring and comforting opportunities. 

So here I wait. Peacefully.

Until the next time.